The Saga of Haymitch's Shampoo
by Missy Tea
Summary: Effie is trying to organize a date night for Haymitch and herself but he keeps avoiding her. Will she stay when she finds out why?


**This was written by myself and my bff for the fanfiction competition held by the facebook page 'You'll never think of the number 12 the same way again'. I've now decided to post it here. **

**Please note that this was written purely for fun. We own nothing! **

It was a stormy morning when Effie woke up in her king sized bed. She stretched out like a cat before registering the storm and glaring at the large bay windows that dominated one side of her cosy white room. Rain hammered on her windows like it was determined to break through. Effie had never been a big fan of rain, it always messed up her hair and made it dangerous to walk around in her fabulously high heels. Groaning, she got out of bed and headed for the shower. By the time she returned her alarm clock was making a horrific noise.

"Useless things" she groaned loudly, pressing the button to shut it up "I wish it could sense when you're already awake!"

Needless to say her mood wasn't all sunshine and roses that morning. Apart from her alarm clock and the rain, she was a bit put out that Haymitch hadn't called the night before when she'd been hoping he would. It was, after all, date night. It wasn't as though he was obliged to phone her, they weren't in any sort of a relationship. Well, not exactly. What had started as an innocent kiss -when both their tributes had survived the first day of the games unscathed- had slowly progressed over the years into frequent and pleasurable activities. They most certainly didn't belong to one another and it would come to an end the moment one of them found a more steady partner but, for now it suited them.

However, Haymitch had been forced to cancel the night before thanks to some talk show Plurach had organized after hearing he was in the Capital and Effie had assumed he would call afterwards. Even though they'd rescheduled Effie was dying to hear his voice. She was nearly bouncing off the walls, she was so excited to see him this evening. That was, of course, if he would even join her, or if he would find something more important to do than to spend time with her. She was getting tired of the countless times he ditched her or had organized a bigger gathering on date night when it was supposed to be just them. It was almost as though he was avoiding her these last few months.

Effie was taking a sip of tea when an absolutely smashing idea came to mind. She stood up quite suddenly, made her way to her phone, and dialed the Mellark residence's number.

Katniss answered on the third ring

"Effie? What's wrong?" Katniss asked, slightly hysterically. Effie could hear her kids screaming and shouting in the background

"Bad time?" She asked

Katniss sighed into the phone

"Not at all, Peeta can manage it. What's going on?" She asked again.

Effie smiled on the other end

"I" she said dramatically "am going have a pizza and wine party tonight! I want you and Peeta to come over"

There was a pause on the other end until finally

"Oh. But isn't it date night for you and Haymitch?" Katniss asked, unsure of what was going on.

Effie sighed crossly

"He's done it to be me before! So, find a baby sitter, dress up, find a bottle of wine, get on a train and be here tonight at seven o clock sharp." she ordered sternly. Katniss could almost hear her add 'smiles on! We're on a tight schedule.' "You're having Wine and Pizza with Haymitch and I whether you like it or not" She said instead.

Katniss laughed softly into the phone

"Oh all right, I'll see what we can do."

"Don't be late!"

Effie jumped up and clapped her hands

together, pausing until a beep indicated that the call had been disconnected and then doing a tiny little dance.

This was the best idea she'd had in ages: an excuse to have a party and to get back at Haymitch. It was also an excuse to go shopping for the most gorgeous outfit she could find. With matching shoes of course.

By the time she returned from her shopping trip (with several bags, she couldn't stop at one)

It was going on for five o clock and she still had to set up. She chucked her bags into her bed room and surveyed her roomy living room. Pillows she decided. She was going to need pillows. Effie swung by the kitchen to help her self to a few wheat free biscuits (health muck as Haymitch called them) before delving into her linen closest in her room. What on earth possessed her own so many throws, blankets, duvets, pillows and scatter cushions she'll never know. After a few trips, her living room was starting to look like a giant bed and she had finally reached the back of her closet. As she reached for the last few blankets a piece of paper fluttered to the floor. Effie picked it up and brought it out into the light so she could see it properly. Flipping it over, she discovered it was a photo. It was the first year she'd become an escort - still a silly capital girl who allowed the glitz and glammer to blind her to the horrors that the government inflicted. She was dressed in a short peacock blue dress, matching top hat and shoes that looked like waves. She remembered how her feet ached at the end of that evening. Haymitch was dressed in his usual outfit of roughly spun wool trousers and a blue cotton shirt- no doubt with several stains all over his person too. Effie was sporting a brilliant smile, elated that she had been chosen to be a part of the games while Haymitch scowled at her elaborate wig from behind her shoulder. Gods how times had changed.

Effie's phone pinged before announcing that Katniss would be arriving in fifteen minutes -the time it took for her to get from the train station to Effie's home. She swore loudly and hurried into her room to get ready, leaving the photo on a hallway table. Effie rummaged through her shopping bags until she found one of her simple (as simple as she could get anyway) cocktail dresses and put it on, lacing the front up with lacy white fabric. She pulled on a pair of her electric blue high heels that matched the short blue dress. With make up and hair done, only taking her five minutes, she ran down to her door, just in time to hear Katniss ring the door bell. Effie opened the door with a bright smiling face. She wore less make-up these days and had ditched the bright obnoxious colours for something a little more natural. She was greeted by Katniss and Peeta holding hands with their two oldest children standing behind them. Effie frowned a little

"I do hope you don't expect me to give them wine too" she told Katniss, raising a perfect eyebrow

Katniss laughed "not at all, but they wanted to come so badly and Peeta couldn't say no" Peeta glared at his wife. According to her, it was always his fault with these things. The fact was; she didn't feel comfortable leaving them with a baby sitter.

Effie waved them inside without a word.

As they walked to the living room Katniss turned to Effie

"I do hope you don't mind them coming" Katniss asked, worried she might of ruined her friend's plans. Effie laughed

"Oh not at all! Not at all, I'm sure we can work something out" she ushered them all towards the room whose floors were covered with pillows, blankets and throws

"Did a pillow monster throw up in here?" Peeta's daughter asked, looking around with a slightly horrified expression

"Rose! Don't be rude." Katniss admonished her daughter, shooting an apologetic look in Effie's direction

"That's alright" Effie laughed "I suppose I did go a bit overboard. Well, don't stand in the doorway for hours, come in! come in!"

"Is Haymitch here yet?" Peeta asked as his children climbed onto Effie's sofa and reached for a handful of chips Effie had put out as appetizers

"Don't even think about it" Katniss barked and they quickly withdrew their hands.

"Not yet sweetheart, in fact I don't know if he's even coming. He didn't answer his phone when I called."

She disappeared into the kitchen to find a bottle opener and while her back was turned Peeta and Katniss exchanged raised eyebrows. When had Effie started using 'sweetheart'? That was Haymitch's catch phrase! They'd both also noticed the heart break in Effie's voice when she spoke of him. Their relationship had always been more friendly than anything else (on a good day) but now it seemed as though it was turning into something else. Did Effie even realize she'd fallen in love with the man?

She swung back into the room, clutching a wine bottle under her arm and two glasses of grape juice for the kids. Soon after they were all spread out on Effie's couches (the kids banished to Effie's bedroom with a few of her Dvds and the rest of the juice and chips) all gossiping like fish wives. Portia had dropped in to collect a few dresses Effie was donating to the charity she'd opened in Cinna's name and had ended up staying.

"...and Tigress has finally agreed to get rid of the whiskers." Portia finished

"About time too" Effie scoffed "she's the only one left in the whole of Panem with them."

"I think she was the only one with them in the first place" Katniss added just as Peeta's stomach gave a loud rumble

"Sorry" he mumbled, going slightly pink

"Let's eat" Effie sighed "it doesn't look like Haymitch is going to be joining us any time soon."

"Are you sure?" Peeta asked. Effie waved an elegant hand

"Of course dear, of course!" She trilled and she and Katniss headed to the kitchen to collect the food. An odd scratching noise came from the entrance hall before a gruff voice called

"Princess?"

Effie rushed back into the living room with a look of barely concealed excitement on her face

"In here!" She called.

Haymitch rounded the corner and froze at the sea of faces watching him. He was wearing a white button up shirt that looked new, dark navy trousers and black leather shoes. He held a bottle of sparkling white wine in one hand and a punnet of strawberries in the other. All in all, he looked very distinguished, obviously having made a bit of an effort. Except for the small problem of his hair being bright pink. Katniss took one look at him and burst into hysterical laughter, joined shortly afterwards by Portia. Peeta looked extremely uncomfortable and Effie...well she was struggling to lift her jaw off the ground.

"Haymitch! What on earth happened!?" Effie finally asked in a horrified tone of voice. Haymitch stood in the doorway, frozen in place, looking a bit like a startled rabbit. He hadn't realized Effie was having guests over! Why on earth didn't she tell him!?

He looked at Effie, who was still staring at him in amazement

"If you're busy, I can come back later" he said, putting his arms over his bright pink hair and backing away. Effie shook her head

"Oh don't be silly" she snapped "explain to us what happened"

"Yes please do!" Portia hooted and collapsed into giggles again. Effie glared at her and beckoned Haymitch forward.

Haymitch pushed past all the pillows that covered the ground and slumped against the couch "well," He started to explain "I was looking at other shampoo products because the one I use is crap and smells like something shampoo should not smell like. Anyway, I asked the shop assistant for help as to what shampoo would impress my uh girlfriend" he coughed, attempting to disguise the last bit as he looked at Effie, who's eyes widened. No one else reacted so he carried on "she gave me a bottle of stuff, which cost a fortune, and said to put it on like normal and it would drive you crazy." He coughed awkwardly again "This was yesterday. Which is why I couldn't make it."

Effie stared at him for a long moment as he accepted a glass of wine from Peeta, who was looking for something to do with his hands before erupting

"Haymitch Abernathy!" She shrieked "do you honestly think I wouldn't want to see you because you accidently dyed your hair pink?! What shop were you in?! And if you truly didn't want me to see why in all of Panem are you here now?! I suppose the talk show with Pluracht was a lie as well? Just how often do you lie to me Haymitch?"

"I think we better go" Katniss said, getting up, dragging Peeta along with her while calling for her kids. They came into the living room and stopped dead at the sight of Haymitch's hair and a seething Effie. Katniss grabbed them and herded them towards the door. Portia grabbed her bags and followed, still chuckling to herself

"Well?" Effie asked, crossing her arms in front of her.

"I was hoping you could fix it." He mumbled

"Oh so I'm only useful when you want something?" She asked in a dangerously calm voice. "Well that's just great. I'm sorry Haymitch, but I have plans tonight, which you've successfully ruined with your insufferable male ego."

"Eff..." He started to get up, but fell over a scatter cushion and ended up back on the sofa. She ignored him and stormed off to her bedroom, slamming the door behind her. He eventually navigated his way out of her pillow fort and followed her down the hallway. He got to her door and found it firmly closed. He glanced at the table next to her door and found the photo that she'd left there earlier. Picking it up, he studied it carefully.

He remembered her first year as an escort. Her happiness and excitement when she first started and how quickly it had turned to horror and disgust as she watched the kids she's carefully tutored and cared for for the past few weeks brutally murdered on national TV. He'd hated her at first, hated the world she represented, hated the fact that he had to tolerate her. Until the night he'd heard her sobbing in her room, mourning the loss of a handsome young boy and a shy little girl. She wasn't mourning the loss of the games, her chances of having escorted a victor. She was mourning two people, who were both too young to die. Each sob had cut through him like a knife until he headed back to the living room and drank until he passed out. Effie Trinkett was a woman who was stronger than anyone gave her credit for. Every games after that, she got more obnoxious, more annoying and more judgmental. But every games she would cry harder than the year before.

Her bedroom door opened and she stepped out, clutching a tube of what Haymitch hoped was hairdye. She came towards him and peered briefly over his shoulder at the photo.

"What happened to that dress?" He asked, chuckling slightly

"I gave it away years ago" she sighed

"Pity, it might have gone with my hair" he joked. She laughed lightly and patted his shoulder

"I still have the wig somewhere."

"I'll pass thanks, sweetheart."

He turned around to face her, placing a hand on her hip as he did so

"What's the matter?" He asked softly, when she refused to meet his eyes

"Did you mean it when you called me your girlfriend?" She asked. He frowned before answering

"Of course. What else are you?"

Effie shrugged

"Then why have you been avoiding me?" She asked, her blue eyes filling with tears "are you embarrassed to be with a capital girl?"

"What?" He asked incredulously "of course not. Effie, I cannot be more proud to call you my girlfriend."

"Then why Haymitch? Why do you continue to treat me as though I'm a silly capitol doll who is only used to scratch an itch and will always be second best!" She cried, wrenching away from his hold and turing her back on him, wrapping her arms around herself

"Because I'm scared" she heard him admit and she turned to face him again.

"What?"

"I'm scared" Haymitch repeated "I know how to survive the games, I know how to be a semi decent mentor, I know how to drink myself into oblivion and I know how to start a rebellion. But I don't know how to be the man that deserves you and I don't know how to keep the ones I love safe. It scares me that they could hurt you to get to me."

She stepped forward and cupped his cheek gently

"They can't hurt me Haymitch" she said gently "the games are over, and Snow is gone. All thanks to you. Because you loved Katniss, and Peeta and all the innocent children in the games."

She kissed him gently

"And you." He added "I love you Effie."

She smiled up at him and kissed him again

"I love you too" she said softly "now, come on. Let's go and fix your hair."

She stepped away from him and held up the tube. Haymitch gently took it from her hand and put it on the table next to the photograph before pulling her into his arms and kissing her soundly

"It can wait." He growled. Effie threaded her fingers into his hot pink her and grinned

"I was hoping you'd say that."

**Please review! It means the world to us!**


End file.
